I am introducing a new series called "F'ed Up Toys" just in time for the holidays. Why? Because you need all the help you can to mess your kids up really good to get them back for the havoc they cause in your life (I kid! I kid!).
So to kick this off right, let's take a look at the ultra chrome MP3 Escalade. WTF is this thing? Notice that the wheels are so proportionately large that they'd be like 48 inches in real life. Now, I know that make some of you up and coming hip hop moguls shudder with the same excitement as the first time you knocked up that ho and ran for the next county, but please don't give this to your kids. And if you're eyeing this for yourself rather than your kids...I pray for your children and your children's children.